Fear... is a Mouse in The Bathroom

I was tired and needed a shower. I shuffled down the dormitory hall of the yoga center, headed for the bathroom with my shampoo, soap and p.j.s under my arm.

"There's a mouse in there," said Ellen, as she briskly headed toward her room.

I froze. "What? I need to take a shower."

"Oh, well, he probably won't bother you," she smiled as she closed her door.

I decided to walk to the opposite end of the building and find a mouse-free bathroom, so I could take a shower in peace. I shuttered in fear and discomfort of just the idea of a wiggly little mouse wandering around the bathroom floor. So for days, I avoided the "mouse bathroom." I wouldn't even go in there to brush my teeth, but rather I'd take a long walk to use another bathroom.

One day, I thought that maybe I was being silly about all this. So when nature called, I went into the mouse bathroom. There was no sign of him. It was okay! I went into one of the stalls.

When I emerged, moments later...there he was, by the sink. The mouse! He saw me, and squeaked in fear. He started running in circles, then tried to climb up the side of the trash can, but slid back down. In a panic, he ran into one corner, then another, trying to find a place to hide ... from me.

Oddly, I didn't panic, scream, or run in fear. In that moment, I was still, just watching the little mouse. I saw and felt his fear. In that moment, as he finally found a little crack in the tile floor under the radiator that he could crawl into, I realized that I ... am the mouse ... that we ALL are like the mouse sometimes.

As fear of the unknown strikes us, we panic, we run, we cry out, we hide. I was flooded with compassion in this bolt of awareness ... compassion for the mouse, for my family, my friends, my loved ones, and for myself. Fear is something we all experience when we feel threatened, or when we are hurt, either physically or emotionally. It's a reaction to protect ourselves from harm.

Sometimes we might fear a literal danger, as in a life threatening situation. But sometimes, our fear ... is over something as small as a mouse. We all experience fear as part of life, every living thing does. But as humans, we have this wonderful gift of awareness...we can step back and recognize our fear, look it in the face, and breathe. And sometimes, if we're able to do that, the fear fades. Sometimes, if we can step back from the emotional intensity of our fear, we can open our hearts to love, instead ... like I did with the mouse. I released my own fear and realized that he (the mouse) and I shared something in common ... and that I could chose to react differently. 

In my life, as I feel the fear of life changes descending upon me, I make it a practice of trying to let go of my fear ... and instead, I turn to faith ... faith and trust that the universe or God is guiding me in the direction in which I need to go ... that there are lessons to learn around every corner, if I just keep my eyes and my heart open ... even when there's a mouse in the bathroom. 

Unclench Your Jaw, Breathe And Meditate!

As a society, we are fast paced, impatient and stressed out. We want what we want, and we want it now - through clenched teeth and tight shoulders. I remember feeling like this, before I started meditating and doing yoga. I didn't even realize how stressed out I was, until I took my first yoga class. Yoga helped me learn how to tune in to my body and just feel what was going on. I realized that I was flushed, shaky and my shoulders were up around my ears most of the time. And I clenched my teeth and jaw 24 hours a day.

Little by little, I learned to soften my body, to let go of the physical stress and tension. It all started with simple awareness and breathing - you can do it too. Learn to check in with your body. Stop and ask yourself, "how am I feeling right now in this moment?" If you feel tension somewhere specific, see if you can soften it a bit. Unclench your teeth and jaw. Soften your mouth as much as you can. Soften your eyes and the space between your eyebrows. Relax your shoulders. Notice your breathing.

Then deepen your breath. Long, slow deep breaths, in and out through the nose, or in through the nose and out through the mouth. Relax your body even more. Sit and breathe like this for between 2 and five minutes, with your eyes closed. Do it now.

Congratulations, you've just started meditating! That's all there is to it. It is simple, but it is not always easy. Your mind might wander; your to-do list might creep into your head, just try to let it go and refocus on relaxing your body and breathing deeply. The more you practice, the better you'll feel.

There are many techniques and methods to meditation. This is just one. If you encouter trouble with being comfortable in your seated position, or if other specific matters come up. I can help you through them, either in private sessions or in my group meditation classes. Check my Schedule for my next Meditation Workshop in the Pittsburgh area.

Learning to let go of stress can help bring your body into a greater state of health and your mind into a more focused, calm place. Plus, you can experience more happiness in your life overall! Doesn't that sound worth it - for just five minutes a day?

 

“Thickly Settled”

“Thickly Settled.” This is a phrase I saw on a road sign recently while traveling in rural Massachusetts. I figured it was the equivalent of a “congested area” sign back home. But this phrase, “thickly settled” really gave me a chuckle. But the more I thought about it, the more I drew parallels between that phrase, and our human tendencies. Not so much literally, as in our tendencies to closely settle our homes together in communities, but as in our tendencies to get “thickly settled” and often stuck in our ways of thinking and reacting to our circumstances. We are even thickly settled in our concept of ourselves and others. As Ram Das says, "In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring one another that our costumes of identity are on straight."

As a child, I remember looking up at the clouds in the sky, thinking they were solid, like big, floating puffs of cotton. After my parents went on a trip (in an airplane), I remember asking them how the plane flew around the clouds (not realizing that the clouds’ real-ness was an illusion). I was so thickly settled into this idea that it really took a while to convince me that you couldn’t sit on a cloud.

As adults, we settle into our labels, our perceptions of reality, even our circumstances -- be they pleasurable or painful. We sink our teeth into these temporary illusions like I longed to sit on passing clouds in my childhood.

If we can just be still long enough to witness the clouds, we see them morph and change and pass. Everything in our lives is of the nature to change, just like the clouds in the sky. We will all grow old; we will all go through both good times and bad; we will all experience happiness and sadness. This is just the nature of our yin and yang world.  But if we get too “thickly settled” into one of these stages, clinging to it, even when it’s time to change, it’s like grasping at a cloud. Can you hold it in your hand? Nope, it’s just passing through. And the more you desperately try to cling, the more sorrow and pain you bring yourself.  Everything -- our ideas, labels, feelings, beliefs, longings, judgements and experiences -- are just passing through. Even our bodies are just passing through time. As Buddha said, “Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree, in the midst of them all."  

The question is, how? How do you rest like the tree?  How do you shake off that thickly settled, foggy, illusory state? When I find myself there, clinging to my idea of “the right” way to do things, I recognize that I’m there because I feel tension in my body. It’s my inner signal that I am clinging to some changing, out-of-my-control detail of my life. I’m grasping at clouds. This is the first step. Catch yourself in the act.

Then I use my map to find my way out of my “thickly settled” state. Auto-pilot does not work in these situations, but instead leads you deeper into a stubborn, reactionary state that invites in more frustration. My map primarily consists of two thoughts:

• Can I change how I’m reacting to this situation?
• What am I supposed to learn from this?

Answer those questions for yourself the next time you feel frustrated or resistant to something in your life. You might just realize that you’ve been grasping at clouds. With a little practice, and a good map, you’ll steer clear of those thickly settled areas and find yourself again in wide open spaces where you can breathe deeply and smile.

My Top Ten Healthy Living Tips for Families

Joni’s Top 10 Daily Healthy Living Tips

I'm handing this list out tonight when I teach Family Yoga Night at my sons' Elementary School, so I thought I'd share it here too!   

1. Stretch first thing in the morning. It just takes 2 minutes. Reach up to the sky, reach down to the earth. Stretch from side to side. Twist. Repeat. It’ll invigorate you and help you wake up!

2. Breathe. Take 3 deep breaths in the morning when you wake up. Invite in more oxygen to nourish every cell of your being.

3. Talk to yourself!  Recite a positive affirmation a few times in the morning. Something like, “I am happy today.” or “This is a good day!” There is evidence that you create your own experience with your attitude, whether it’s positive or negative.

4. Breakfast. Include a whole grain (like oatmeal or whole wheat toast) and piece of fruit as part of a healthy breakfast. Add some milk, soymilk, peanut butter/almond butter/sunbutter or an egg for protein and you’re ready to start the day with plenty of fuel.

5. Take a Break. When you’re feeling stressed or worried or really busy, STOP whatever you’re doing. Stand or sit completely still for 60 seconds. Feel your feet on the floor, notice your breathing, tell yourself “it’s okay.” and believe it.

6. Add more vegetables to your diet. You can’t eat too many vegetables! And most Americans don’t eat nearly enough. Vegetables contain fiber, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, phytochemicals and have immune-boosting properties. They help you stay fuller longer and make you feel great. Be adventurous - try different veggies, raw, cooked, grind them up in soups and sauces (to “hide” them). Enjoy!

7. Move your body every day! If you don’t exercise regularly, then just move! Dance, clean, walk for enjoyment, play with your kids, jump up and down for energy. Our bodies were meant to move, so use your body!

8.  Breathe. To reduce stress overall in your life (this goes for your kids too), practice this breathing technique every day. Inhale to a count of 4, Exhale to a count of 8. Take between 3 and 5 breaths like this - or more if you like. Notice how calm you feel afterward.

9. Eat foods closest to nature. How close to nature is the food you eat? If it comes from a restaurant, or a box or can, it’s probably quite far from its natural form. Eat less processed food. Eat more fresh veggies, fruit, fresh fish, meats and even dairy! Learn to cook - you don’t have to be a chef to prepare a simple, delicious and healthy meal.  

10. Give thanks. Have gratitude for the food you eat, your health, your home, your family, your friends and community. We are all so lucky and blessed. To recognize your blessings and feel gratitude every day helps to make you happier and less stressed. This all equals GOOD HEALTH!

If you’re interested in learning more about healthy eating, nutrition and stress reduction, feel free to contact me for private sessions and to learn more about my wellness programs. I help people with digestive issues, high blood pressure, sleep difficulties, and more, find wellness and balance naturally, by making small changes to their diet and lifestyle to promote the body’s desire to be balanced and well.

Article Share on Breathing

Check out this link. It is so good to see that this concept is catching on. It is all about the breath.